Of Happiness and Thoughts

A lecturer once asked my class:
“Where is the world headed? What does the upcoming generation want? Ultimately, you guys are our upcoming generation. What do you want?”

That was in one of our marketing class.

In an interview, a lady once said:
“You guys are the hardest group to reach, you know that?”

This got me thinking. What do I want? Put myself in the shoes of a consumer, what is it that I am seeking in a product or a service?

I tried to get to the root of this, and I thought, there is a reason why our generation – and the upcoming ones – are called the "i-generation". We seek to please ourselves. In a warped yet real way, we are all self-seeking, self-centered, and selfish.

But the real question to this is why. Why are we selfish? Why do we put ourselves first? Why do we seek to please ourselves? Is it really human nature to be selfish or is there a reason why we are brought up that way?

I wonder if the way everything is marketed through the media has a part in this.

That’s one argument. My argument, however, is simple: we’re merely looking for things that will keep us happy. The ultimate reason for selfishness is because we all want to be happy. Deep down inside, we want to feed our constantly-dropping happy meter.

So, I ask myself this: Am I happy?

If not, am I going through selfish means to make myself happy?

I’ve lost my train of thought.

Is happiness that hard to find, or is it already there; but we’re not contented and attempt to make ourselves happier than we already are?


Ok, I’m confusing myself because my train of thought is lost.

I’ll just keep this for another day.


On another note: Why is it we put up with the things we shouldn't put up with, even when it annoys us to no end? Maybe we're just masochistic in nature. Why put up with things, when we can just walk away and be happy?

Just Because

Today, is a beautiful day.

And I wish days and nights like this would last forever.

Sometimes, when I'm alone at night and I'm listening to beautiful songs, I reflect on the day's worth of events, and I evaluate the good and the bad. I try to throw out the bad and focus on the good that came my way.

Today, my life is skewed toward the good side in proportions that you cannot imagine.

And yes, this is despite the fact that my phone decided to turn against me and go amok.

I refuse to sleep even though I am so incredibly tired (I slept for only 4 hours because I was so smart to tweak the time of the clock. DON'T ASK WHY.) because tomorrow might not be the same anymore.

Let me just bask in this moment for a bit.

---------------------------------

Okay, on a totally random note:

This is me thinking aloud here. I'm thinking of cooking curry this Tuesday, since I have a pack of santan left. I can cook that in big proportions, and that will be my lunch and dinner for the rest of the week.

Rendang or curry? Beef or chicken? Mmmm, definitely with potatoes. Where can I be a cheapo and pluck curry leaves for free?

I also have a pack of sour cream, after the cookout Raymond and I did, so maybe sometime the following week, I'd do a sour cream mash with bacon bits, and loads of cheese? I'll make sure some parts of potato skin gets into the mash this time. I love potato skin. They're so yummy.

Anyhoo, this was the product of our cookout. Grilled Honey Garlic Pork Chop with Cheesy Mashed Potatoes topped with black pepper sauce and a scoop of sour cream on the side to our taste.

I have learned, grilling pork (or at least pan frying it) is no easy feat man! A little too long, and you get tasteless, dry and hard pork. Too quick, and you get swine flu J.E. an upset stomach.

Ours, because we were determined not to get diarrhea on our first cookout, was a little overcooked, so it was kinda dry.

The sauce and the mash were AWESOME though. Raymond's-dad-was-bread-dipping kinda awesome. /smug.

I will perfect pork grilling one day. I'm determined.

'Twas fun. Not sure if he's gonna want to go through the hassle of cleaning up again though, but for me, cooking is always fun, no matter how tedious the clean up is.

And no, honey, you will not use this statement against me to make me do the cleaning. :]

Till next time!

Dreams, do they mean more?

Last night, I had a dream. Of Shaun, of his friend, of Blitzone, of a dark road and a lost me.

I dreamt that Shaun introduced me to his friends, while we were having dinner somewhere. Funny how the three of us were sitting on one side, all crammed up when the seats opposite us across the table were empty.

After we ate, Shaun, the friend and I left the place. I forgot something or I was supposed to take something (I can't remember), but I was scared, so I called out to Shaun outside Blitzone, but there was no reply. I called out again and again, but I couldn't hear a reply, and it was apparent that he had left the place without telling me. Everyone outside Blitzone was staring at me as I called out his name. There were people sitting on the railings, leaning on the walls, or just standing and smoking. They stared with such piercing, judgmental eyes, yet there was an air of disinterest around them.

I sprinted to my car, started it and drove away, wanting to go home. I drove towards the road which was supposed to lead to the highway, but somehow it didn't. In fact, the roads have changed. There were two flyovers, and I was sure the one on the left was not it; so I chose the one on the right.

As I drove, I kept my eyes on the left flyover, tracing it to make sure I chose the right path, and in my mind, I was 60% convinced that I did.

This flyover led to a dark, dark road and I began to feel afraid. I've never felt so alone before. But I drove on, and on, and on. I realized my headlights were not on, and I figured maybe that explained the pitched darkness around me.

I turned on the headlights, but visibility only improved in a minuscule amount. But even with the tiny improvement in visibility, I could see a figure far ahead in front. I couldn't see the face, as it was still too dark, but I could see the black silhouette, just walking. I tried to chase it.

I found that although I was afraid, and the road was in darkness, the car was going at such a high speed that I was constantly worried I might knock someone. I had hope in the figure, that whoever it was, this person could help me get home, so I drove on faster despite my worry, fear and loneliness.

I continued driving for another good 2-3 minutes, and the road finally led to an opening. Somehow, when I reached the opening, my car and the figure disappeared completely; and I was now on foot.

The feeling I had wasn't fear anymore. It was a mixture of relief, curiosity and enlightenment. I emerged from what looked like bushes, and there I saw another road, which was deserted, but had a few people walking on it. Next to the deserted road, separated by trees and grass, was the highway, well lit with streetlamps and clearly marked with white lines. As well lit as it was, there were no cars driving on that road.

I looked up to the sky and saw the crack of dawn, probably around 6:45 - 7am. There was a visible amount of blue in the sky, but it was still dark. I noticed the people walking had their heads down - like they were looking at the ground in sadness - walking slowly, almost in a zombied manner, step........... by step.

It was then, that I also noticed something else: They were all like me. All alone, and walking aimlessly.



I woke up after that. I don't know about you, but I have many interpretations of the dream on my own. This is one dream which I can remember so vividly like it really did happen.

What really baffles me is the stark contrast between the two roads at the end: One well lit yet the other was dark, gloomy, sad and deserted (with dead leaves on the ground even). It also struck me how there were people on this dark, gloomy and deserted road, but there weren't anyone on the well lit road. Isn't it obvious that the well-lit one was a better choice? It even had clear white markings on it. But the people chose to remain in that deserted road, walking in sadness, aimlessly.

It only meant one thing to me. I don't know if any of you deciphered it this way.

The deserted road with people walking aimlessly are people who do not have God. They are led to believe (by the silhouette) that the road they chose is the right one, having hopes, like me. Many are trapped in that gloomy road, and they don't even see that streetlamp-filled road which is right next to them.

This led me to think: Which am I? How is it that I realize the two roads, while the depressed people don't see it? Is it because I am aware of the choice I have, and they aren't?

I don't know. Maybe I'm reading too much into this dream. Maybe it's just what it is, a dream, and it doesn't mean anything more than that. What I do know, however, is that this dream is so clear and vivid, and I almost believed it was really happening to me, until I woke up.

Just another documented dream. Like how I documented it in the past.

I wrote this all down on paper when I was in class this morning, because I didn't want to forget it, and it was gnawing my mind. After reading what I penned down, I realized the likely meaning behind the dream, and thought that I should blog about it.

I left my class early today, because I didn't want to lose my train of thought and I was itching to document this. Haha.